| | | Tuesday, February 9, 2010 | | |
|
| Tribunal |
|
|
|
|
Meeting is more than ‘talk’
|
|
Q. I finally got my annulment and now the Tribunal wants me to go for further counseling. I don’t want to do this. All I want to do is get my marriage blessed in the church. I don’t want to have to talk with a counselor; enough is enough. I feel I am being penalized and held up in not being able to receive the sacraments. What is going on?
A. The Tribunal and the church as a whole want your upcoming marriage to be as good as it possibly can be. On almost every affirmative decision rendered by the Dallas Tribunal at least one counseling session for the party receiving the declaration of invalidity and her/his future spouse is recommended. Even if you have already been "married" civilly for many years and you now are free to marry in the church, we want your marriage to be the best it can be. The purpose of the interview with the counselor is to help you and your future spouse address any issues that might be a stumbling block in your relationship. The Marriage Readiness Assessor will utilize information, with a release from you, from the decision in your matrimonial case, especially to raise any issues that might need to be addressed. He/she also will want to be sure that if there are any minor children from the previous union, they are being provided for financially and morally. The marriage readiness assessment is not intended to be punitive but helpful.
Q. I inherited a house and some other assets from my dear grandmother. My soon-to-be husband and I will live in my house. My parents are very concerned that my inheritance remains mine. I love my fiancé, but he is not a wealthy man. My parents want a prenuptial agreement. Now, in talking with my priest, I am beginning to realize that the Catholic Church will not allow me to get married if I sign a prenuptial agreement and my non-Catholic parents (I am a convert) refuse to have anything to do with the wedding itself if I do not abide by their wishes. Please help me. I am in a terrible dilemma.
A. First, the Catholic Church’s concern regarding a prenuptial agreement relates to the possibility that it may indicate that the person entering the marriage intends to enter a dissoluble union. As you know, the church teaches that marriage is indissoluble. Yet the very reason for the prenuptial agreement may be to protect assets should a divorce occur. Obviously a prenuptial agreement to protect assets should the death of one of the parties occur is a different matter. It is important that you enter the union committed to its indissolubility. It is natural that your parents and legal advisors want to protect you. I would advise you, along with your Catholic fiancé, to discuss with the priest preparing you for marriage and with your attorney your concerns about preserving the separate character of property brought into the marriage. Perhaps something can be done to satisfy the concerns of your parents while conforming to the teachings of the Catholic Church. Ultimately the priest will present a draft of the prenuptial agreement to the Tribunal for review and possible approval.
|
Proper terminology aids process
|
|
Q. My ex-wife is trying to get our marriage annulled. I got a letter from the Tribunal which talks about grounds. Some of the words are even in Latin! What does contra bonum prolis mean and what does lack of discretionary judgment mean? And why can’t the Tribunal use everyday language and not so much legalese?
A. I am glad you are asking questions. Contra bonum prolis has to do with the withholding of the right to acts suitable for the begetting and upbringing of children. Lack of discretionary judgment has to do with something very seriously interfering with a party’s understanding of the essential obligations and rights of Christian marriage. These are grounds which relate to what was going on at the time the man and woman exchanged consent, since consent is what brings the marriage into existence. It is important that you understand the grounds as well as all other aspects of the process. We often use terminology from the Code of Canon Law in an effort to be as clear, canonically, as possible. If you are not in agreement with the proposed grounds or do not understand something we are doing, please contact your Procurator-Advocate or the Tribunal. For a complete listing of grounds, consult the diocesan website at www.cathdal.org, or call me to have a copy mailed to you.
Q. I have fallen in love with a man who has been married before. He has two children by his first marriage. They are 6 and 8 years old. He has gotten an annulment but now we are being held up in getting married because he owes back child support. Why is everybody making it so hard for me to marry in the Catholic Church?
A. I am glad you contacted me. We are not trying to make it difficult for you to marry in the Catholic Church. However, the church is concerned about any civil and moral obligations to a previous spouse or offspring. It is very important to assure that any children will be provided for before the father or mother enters another marriage. The law of the church as well as society in general expects such. A person who is paying or receiving child support can obtain a current record from the attorney general’s office to confirm that these obligations are being met; and the priest, deacon, or lay minister preparing a parent of minor children will request that such confirmation be provided before setting a wedding date in the church.
Q. My ex-husband has introduced a marriage case in another Tribunal. I live in the Diocese of Dallas. The Dicocese of Dallas has sent me a letter asking for my comments about the case being heard in another diocese. I do not want it to be heard there.
A. Because you live in this diocese, you have been contacted so that you can express your concerns before our Judicial Vicar makes a decision to give or deny consent to the other diocese to process the case. We will do everything we can to help you in the Diocese of Dallas so that your rights are protected. We particularly will be diligent in assisting you to obtain a Procurator-Advocate here in Dallas to represent you, at least locally. All Tribunals operate under the same Code of Canon Law and attempt to render decisions in a just and timely manner. Although it is not likely we will deny consent, there are certain circumstances when we have found it appropriate to do so. Please call me so we can talk further.
The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.
|
Must receive marriage prep within parish boundaries
|
|
Q. I want to get married in the Catholic Church, but it is becoming very difficult to do so. I moved to Dallas six months ago after graduating from college. I admit that I have not been very faithful in Mass attendance and I am not registered or active in a parish. However, when I went to the Catholic Church two blocks from my house, I was told they would not even make an appointment for me to see the priest for marriage until I have registered and have been active in the parish for six months. Please help me; I think I’ll just go to a little church (non-Catholic) down the street.
A. I hope you will be patient with us. First let me assure you that it is the responsibility of the pastor of the parish in which you are physically domiciled to see to your marriage preparation. This responsibility begins as soon as you have been physically domiciled within his parish boundaries for at least one month; thus, parish registration and participation, although desirable, are not a requirement for marriage in the church. Obviously the parish wants you to be active but in no way should require that you, after having registered, wait six months to see the priest. Please call me so we can discuss this matter further.
Q. My fiancé was baptized in an obscure village in Bolivia 30 years ago. Now that we want to marry he is being asked to furnish a current baptismal certificate with sacramental notations and we cannot get this. What are we going to do?
A. There are no simple answers to this; however, we can try to think of some solutions. First, is there anyone left in the small town in which he was baptized, someone who can go to the parish church? If not, is there anyone who can testify that he was baptized Catholic and never has been married in the church? Third, where did he receive his First Communion? Fourth, where was he Confirmed?
Answers to these questions may give us a lead. We also can write to the Apostolic Nuncio to see whether his office can obtain a certificate from the diocese in which your fiancé was baptized. Also the diocese itself may have centralized records or be able to confirm the certificate cannot be obtained under any circumstances. Obtaining a certificate sometimes can be quite difficult but the person preparing you for marriage as well as the Tribunal will try to do everything possible to obtain the certificate and to establish your fiancé’s freedom to marry.
This is a complex issue but not an insoluble one. Each circumstance is somewhat unique and considered on its own merits. Please call me so we can discuss this matter further.
The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.
|
Non-baptized may not receive ‘Sacrament of Matrimony’
|
|
Q. I am a baptized Catholic who is married outside the church to a non-baptized member of a non-denominational church. At the moment he is not interested in receiving Christian baptism. I want to have my marriage recognized in the Catholic Church. We have been attending the required marriage preparation class and the issue of “Sacrament” has come up. I now have learned I will not be receiving the “Sacrament of Matrimony,” even when we marry in the Catholic Church, because my husband is not baptized. I am very distressed about this; please explain.
A. When you as a baptized Catholic marry your non-baptized husband in the Catholic Church your marriage will be presumably valid and considered a good and natural bond. However, in order for your marriage to be not only presumably valid but also sacramental both of you would have to be baptized Christians. When you marry your husband in the church, the priest, deacon or lay minister preparing you, will see to it that a dispensation from disparity of worship is granted. That is, you as a baptized Catholic will be given permission to marry a non-baptized person. When the dispensation is granted, your marriage will be presumably valid as is the marriage of anyone else who has married under the auspices of the Catholic Church. However, it will not be a sacramental union but a good and natural bond. Should your husband become baptized in the future, your marriage then will become sacramental.
Q. My sister wants to get an annulment in the Catholic Church. I have agreed to be a witness for her; however, when I got the questionnaire from the Tribunal I realized the questions, in my opinion, are “invasive.” That is, many questions are asked concerning the intimate details of their married life. Their marriage was a very bad one. My former brother-in-law was very cruel and he suffered from some serious addictions, but I am afraid to write what I know because I understand that both parties can see what I have written. I am upset. I want to help my sister but I also am afraid of my former brother-in-law.
A. Both parties have a right to see everything in the case file that will be used in rendering a decision. In order to do that, your sister and your former brother-in-law would be required to view the file in the Tribunal itself with her/his Procurator-Advocate present. The Petitioner or Respondent must sign a review release and is not allowed to make photocopies or bring in a computer. Of course you as a witness will only want to write what you are willing for both parties to see. Your testimony will be of great value to the Tribunal. All marriages are presumed valid until proven otherwise. Your sister obviously would like for the presumed validity of her marriage to be overturned. In order for that to happen, sufficient evidence will be necessary to prove the marriage never bound either party from the beginning. Your testimony could be crucial for helping the Tribunal to arrive at the truth. Certainly feel free to call the Tribunal if we can clarify further.
The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas, at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.
|
|
|
Ex-spouse needs to be told
|
|
Q. My former spouse and I have been divorced for years. However, I now have met a man I would like to marry, but need an annulment to do so. Everything was fine between my ex-spouse and me until the Tribunal contacted him. I had not intended to tell him anything about my plans until they were accomplished. Now my life is being made miserable all because I wanted to do the right thing and marry in the church. Why couldn’t the Tribunal leave well enough alone?
A. Your former spouse is a party, just as you are, to your nullity case, and he has every right to be aware of the fact that you have petitioned to have your marriage to him declared invalid by the church. We do not provide the former spouse with specific information about your future plans. But he will know that you wish to have your marital status clarified within the church and that whatever decision is rendered also will affect his marital status within the church. At this time, of course, your marriage is presumed valid. If it is proven to have been invalid from the beginning that will mean both you and your former spouse can marry other people in the Catholic Church if that is your desire. Let me assure you, however, that we do not reveal your personal information such as your current name, address, phone number, etc., to your former spouse.
Q. My husband and I have been in a common law marriage for many years. Our 25th anniversary is quickly approaching. We have four children and love each other. I would very much like to have my marriage "blessed" in the church and receive Communion. However, my non-Catholic husband is not interested in getting our marriage straightened out. What am I to do?
A. First, if you have not done so, I would advise you and your spouse to register your "common law marriage" with the County Clerk so the county can issue a certificate for this informal marriage. The certificate will date back to the approximate time you entered this marriage. In order for your marriage ever to be convalidated in the Catholic Church, the officiant will require an informal marriage registration certificate, a civil marriage certificate, or a civil license to marry. In your case, since you have been in this common law marriage for some 25 years, it is to your advantage to register it as such with the County Clerk. All that said, I would suggest you, by yourself, go to your priest regarding your marriage. Talking directly with your priest can be helpful regarding your situation.
Q. My daughter and her husband want to have their baby baptized; however, they would like to use as godmother her sister. However, the proposed godmother (my other daughter) is married outside the church. Now the deacon conducting the baptismal class raised the question as to whether she can be the godmother. I am upset because all this is affecting our family’s relationship with our parish and is turning off both my daughters from the church. I am afraid my daughter may decide not even to have her child baptized. What is going on and how can I deal with this?
A. The Code of Canon Law is very clear that a person who is going to serve as a godparent (or sponsor) for one to be baptized or confirmed is to have received all the Sacraments of Initiation (baptism, communion, and confirmation) and is to lead " a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on." Thus it is expected that a godparent’s marital status not be a hindrance to her leading a life of faith. Of course, even though your daughter may not officially be the godmother, or sponsor, she certainly can have a positive influence on the child and be part of the community at the time of baptism.
The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.
(c) 2010 The Texas Catholic Online
|
|
|
