Ex-spouse can do little to block annulment process   Q. My ex-spouse vows to do everything he can to keep me from getting an annulment. He says that he will tell them what a bad person I am and that the break-up was “all my fault.” I know him to be a vindictive person and I am very frightened that he will keep me from ever getting married again in the Catholic Church. What can I do? A. First let me assure you that we are accustomed to dealing with Respondents (as well as Petitioners) who sometimes have their own agendas. A declaration of invalidity or “annulment,” as it is commonly called has nothing to do with the fact that someone deserves an affirmative outcome. It does have to do with the fact that while all marriages are presumed valid until proven otherwise, if the marriage can be proven never to have bound from the beginning, it will be so declared. Your former spouse may wish to block the process, but there is little he can do to accomplish such. Q. My friends tell me that I don’t need to worry about the former marriage of my boyfriend since he has never been a Catholic and his ex was not a Catholic and they were not married in the Catholic Church. However, when I went to my parish to make arrangements for the wedding I learned otherwise. Please explain. A. All marriages are presumed valid regardless of who entered the marriage and where it was entered. Therefore, your fiancé will need to introduce a case into the Tribunal through a Procurator-Advocate; probably the lay minister in your parish can assist him. Frequently people are very disappointed when they begin to make their wedding plans and discover that they mistakenly believed the intended, who is not a Catholic, does not have to have his previous marriage examined. If there is any continued misunderstanding please call me.   Q. I would like to access the Tribunal forms off the Web site. I see no reason to go through a parish minister to complete these forms. I am computer literate and perfectly capable of completing the forms on line and submitting them, but the Tribunal will not accommodate me. A. The Tribunal normally does not provide its forms electronically to Petitioners, Respondents or witnesses in cases. We expect you as the Petitioner to work closely with a Procurator-Advocate, a cleric or lay minister in your parish trained to introduce cases and represent you throughout the process. Your Procurator-Advocate will have all the forms necessary. It is possible as the case progresses your Advocate may send you forms via email; however, that is not how the process begins. In fact, we expect your Advocate to spend two or three sessions with you before you even begin working on forms. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org. Tribunal cases are private   Q. I always worry that someone working in the Tribunal could "leak" information about my case. What kind of protection do I have that someone in the Tribunal would not talk about my case to somebody? A. Anyone working with nullity cases including volunteers, Procurator-Advocates and Auditors, signs an agreement promising not to reveal information obtained as a result of their work. Even a person who organizes the files for archiving signs an oath of confidentiality. Breaching confidentiality likely would result in the removal of a Tribunal official. Please call me about some specific concern. I would be happy to talk with you. Q. I would like to introduce a nullity case. My marriage occurred in the Dallas diocese and both my former spouse and I live in the Dallas diocese; however, I am afraid that he might get preferential treatment. I might not get a fair hearing because his family is very prominent in the Catholic community. Should I take my chances and send in the case, or what can be done? A. If you make your concerns known to us, we may be able to alleviate your fears, or another Tribunal may be competent to handle the case. If not, we may approach a Tribunal which does not have any jurisdiction but, if it is willing to hear your case, could receive competence from the Apostolic Signatura. If another Tribunal does have competence, you then may introduce your case in the other Tribunal where neither you nor your former spouse, nor family members of either, play a position of prominence. Q. My fiancée, a baptized Methodist, has had a case pending in the Dallas Tribunal for some time. She, through her Procurator-Advocate, now has been advised that if a decision is rendered it likely will be a negative one; however, her Advocate suggested she consider the possibility of a Petrine case. What is a Petrine case? We do not understand. A. A Petrine case might work if either your fiancée or her former spouse never has been baptized throughout their relationship and at least one of them still remains unbaptized, even to the present, and does not anticipate receiving baptism in the foreseeable future. Since the Procurator-Advocate has mentioned the Petrine case as a possibility, I would presume that your fiancée’s former spouse never has been baptized, up until this time, and there is no reason to think he will be baptized in the foreseeable future. A Petrine case is a privilege case in which at least one of the parties remains unbaptized unto the present and there is no expectation that this person will become baptized in the foreseeable future. The Petitioner, of course, must wish to marry in the Catholic Church. The case is submitted to Rome and ultimately it is the decision of the Holy Father whether the privilege will be granted. If he decrees that the Petitioner can utilize the Petrine privilege, when he/she marries in the Catholic Church, the previous union is dissolved. A marriage which is dissolved by using the Petrine privilege is never declared invalid, but because it is non-sacramental it can be dissolved, once the Petitioner marries in the Catholic Church, if the Holy Father has so decreed. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.   Place of dreams’ must be sacred location   Q. I have been working with a wedding coordinator who has assured me that everything is in order for me to marry in the place of my dreams, a beach in Portugal. However, my concerned mother has checked with our local parish and we have discovered that, in all likelihood, my Catholic Church will not give approval for such a wedding. What is going on? A. First, let me alert you to weddings in other dioceses. We here in the Tribunal forward papers to bishops in many other dioceses so marriages can be under the auspices of the Catholic Church. However, the Diocese of Dallas will not forward papers to another diocese when the wedding is occurring in a place, such as a non-sacred location, that would not be allowed in the Dallas diocese. When you have located the “place of your dreams,” contact your parish priest here in Dallas. He will arrange for the required marriage preparation, completion of the necessary paperwork and submission to the Tribunal. We then, once all is in order, will forward the papers to the bishop where you wish to marry. All of us want to be sure that you can marry in “the place of your dreams,” but under the auspices of the Catholic Church. Q. My stepfather whom I love dearly legally adopted me when I was 16 years old. When I recently requested my baptismal certificate I discovered my biological father’s name is still on the certificate. I know my adoptive father will be crushed when he sees this. How do I handle this? A. First, I presume that your birth certificate now reflects your adoptive father’s name. Please take your birth certificate and any other legal papers showing the adoption, the change of name etc., to the parish where you were baptized. They will then make a new entry using your now legal name (your adoptive father’s surname). All future certificates will be issued using your legal maiden name, that is, your adoptive father’s surname. Cross-references will be made in the baptismal register, but any future certificate will be issued only from the entry indicating your current maiden name. If you have any problems getting your baptismal record updated, please let me know. Q. My fiancé and I want to marry in the church. When we started working with the deacon he told us about several marriage preparation programs mandated by the parish and the diocese. He mentioned the word FOCCUS. What is this? It sounds like some kind of test. What if we fail? If we fail can we get married? I am worried. A. FOCCUS is a communication tool covering many areas of interest for the couple such as money, rearing children and talking with each other. It is a means to help the couple to begin dialogue especially regarding some of the areas where they do not have strong agreement with each other. Each of you will take the instrument separately by yourself. Your answers then will be sent to the diocese, which, in turn, will provide your clergy or lay minister with a printout of the results. The two of you, along with the clergy or lay minister preparing you for marriage, then will discuss the results. In no way is it a “test” to see if you are able to marry, but rather a tool to help develop your relationship so it is rewarding and life-giving. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org. Marriage in Baptist church is recognized   Q. My future mother-in-law, a devout Catholic, continues to question both my Catholic fiancé and me (I am a baptized Baptist) because she is anxious that our marriage is not going to be recognized by the Catholic Church since we are marrying in my Baptist church with my Baptist minister officiating. However, we have done all the paperwork with my fiancé’s priest who assures us he is taking care of everything. A. Your fiancé’s priest will take care of everything so your marriage is not only valid, so far as the Catholic Church is concerned, but also sacramental, since you both are baptized Christians. The priest will obtain the necessary dispensation from canonical form so that your Baptist minister can receive the vows in the Baptist church and the marriage will be recognized by the Catholic Church.       After the wedding has occurred, your husband should notify the priest so that he can record your marriage in the register of the Catholic Church where you were prepared and notify your husband’s place of baptism. It might be wise, to request a Church Marriage Certificate and ask your husband to request a current Baptismal Certificate with notations for himself. In this way you will have evidence your marriage has been entered in the marriage register of the parish where you were prepared and entered in your husband’s baptismal record. Q. I want to marry in the home town of my mother in Mexico. However both my fiancée and I live in the Dallas Diocese. How do I go about doing this? A. I am presuming both you and your fiancée are Catholic. First, I would contact the parish in which one or both of you are registered and/or physically domiciled. It will be the responsibility of your local parish to prepare you for marriage and do the proper paperwork which ultimately will be sent to us here in the Dallas Tribunal for transmission to the bishop in the diocese where you wish to wed in Mexico.       Second, and almost simultaneous with the above, I would begin determining in which parish you might marry in your mother’s home town. Contact the parish priest to determine whether your wedding can be booked there. In addition we will expect that your marriage will occur in a parish church, just as we would in this diocese, not in some other location such as a “wedding chapel.” In our office we have two bilingual auditors, fluent in both English and Spanish. Q. I have a case pending in the Dallas Tribunal. I am very concerned that it is not moving as fast as it should. My witnesses have not been contacted. I am fit to be tied. I want to marry and I am so afraid that something will go wrong. When I place a call to my Procurator-Advocate he does not return my calls. When I do talk with him, he tells me these things take awhile. A. It is natural to be anxious about your case because it affects something you want very much, that is, clarification as to your marital status in the Catholic Church.  Procurator-Advocates can get tired of lots of telephone calls.  However, even if he is not able to give you the answers you are looking for right now, we certainly expect him, on your behalf, to check the status of the case with us whenever you call so he can give you a status report. If for some reason your relationship with your Procurator-Advocate is not satisfactory, call me and we will get another Procurator-Advocate for you.  The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org. How to introduce a tribunal case   Q. I feel overwhelmed. I have been married three times and all marriages ended in divorce. I am in the RCIA process and someday hope to marry in the Catholic Church. I have received all sorts of different answers as to how to deal with my situation, but I do know that I have to interact some way with the Dallas Tribunal. What do I do and how do I get started? A. First, contact the person in your parish responsible for introducing cases into the Dallas Tribunal. All clergy can introduce cases into the Dallas Tribunal; also many parishes have lay ministers trained to introduce cases. Even before you meet with the clergy or lay minister for the first time, you will be expected to obtain copies of your civil divorce records from your previous marriages in order to ensure that the marriages have been dealt with on the civil level. The clergy or lay minister who will introduce your cases is expected not only to provide the necessary forms to you at the appropriate time but also, and most importantly, to hear your story. If the person who is to assist you does nothing more than hand you papers to complete and return, please call the Tribunal immediately. Once the person who is assisting you has heard your story, he or she will give you paperwork to complete as drafts and bring back to talk further. Once your cases are ready for submission, the cleric or lay minister will send your cases to the Tribunal. You then should hear from the Tribunal within a couple of weeks. If you do not, please check with the person who submitted your cases. Q. I want to have my baby baptized in my parish church. I have been registered there for a number of years and live within a few blocks. When I went to make an appointment with the deacon who usually handles baptisms, I was told that I need to bring a birth certificate. What is all this about? A. Most parishes today are requiring birth certificates before arranging baptisms. The parish utilizes the birth certificate for many reasons and, very importantly, prepares from the birth certificate the form which ultimately will be used in recording the baptism in the register, from which any baptismal certificate is issued. It is advantageous that the parish review the birth certificate in order to verify information such as the spelling of the child’s name, names of parents, date and place of birth, etc., for entry in the baptismal register. Q. I have been a Catholic all my life. I have fallen in love with a girl who never has been baptized. She now is enrolled in RCIA and likely will be baptized at the Easter Vigil. However, she has been married and divorced. What is the Pauline Privilege? A. The Pauline Privilege may apply in your girlfriend’s situation. It is a dissolution, not a declaration of invalidity, and sometimes can be used when neither party to the prior bond has received Christian baptism and now the Petitioner wishes to receive Christian Baptism and marry in the Catholic Church. The other party must still remain non-baptized with no intention in the foreseeable future of becoming baptized. Please encourage your girlfriend to work with the priest, deacon or lay minister who introduces cases from your parish.   Pregnancy can’t speed process   Q. I am fit to be tied with the church. My 19-year-old daughter just told me she is pregnant. She and her 25-year-old boyfriend have been dating for four years and always have planned to get married on her 21st birthday. She is now pregnant and I want this marriage to take place immediately. I made an appointment for her and her boyfriend to go see the priest. He is putting the brakes on the whole thing and I am very angry. I want my daughter to be able to wear a wedding, not a maternity, dress to walk down the aisle. Can’t you do anything to hurry up this priest? A. Let me first say that I am glad the priest is “putting the brakes on.” Pregnancy is not a reason to marry. Pregnancy is a great gift but is not the occasion to make a “rushed up” decision to wed.   The clergy or lay minister will consult with the Tribunal. Each circumstance is different, but there will be no expedited process because of pregnancy. Rather there will be time for discernment on the part of both the bride and groom and the clergy who will be receiving the marriage vows. The parish will require that the couple participate in all the regular marriage preparation programs and no doubt at the recommendation of the Tribunal send the couple to counseling. The wedding itself may or may not occur before the birth of the child. The marriage may never occur, but rather one or both may decide that while they are committed to the well-being of their child, they are not called to marry each other.   I know this is a very worrisome time for you, but I hope you can give your daughter and the father all the support they need in order to make the best decision they can make for themselves and their child. Also I trust you will be able to anticipate, with great pleasure, the birth of your grandchild. Please feel free to call me and we can talk further. Q. I have received a bunch of questionnaires from the Dallas Tribunal to complete for my sister who wants to get her marriage annulled. I agreed to serve as a witness for her but I did not know it would be so involved. A. As you probably are aware, marriages are presumed valid until proven otherwise. The questionnaires sent to you are designed to provide the Tribunal with in-depth answers concerning the consent exchanged by your sister and former brother-in-law. We ask that you complete them in black ink in your own handwriting. However, if that seems laborious, please call the Tribunal and we will get an Auditor to take your testimony either by telephone or in person. Q. I have a case pending in the Tribunal and I notice that on almost every letter I receive there is reference to the Defender of the Bond who also receives a copy of the letter. What is the Defender of the Bond doing regarding my case? A. The Defender of the Bond is an official of the court. Her/his role is to argue everything in favor of the bond of marriage. The Defender is an integral part of the process from the acceptance of your case until a decision is rendered in first instance. The Defender prior to the decision will review all that has been collected and call to the attention of the Judges any specific areas that he/she deems particularly relevant to upholding the bond of matrimony. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.  Meeting is more than ‘talk’   Q. I finally got my annulment and now the Tribunal wants me to go for further counseling. I don’t want to do this. All I want to do is get my marriage blessed in the church. I don’t want to have to talk with a counselor; enough is enough. I feel I am being penalized and held up in not being able to receive the sacraments. What is going on? A. The Tribunal and the church as a whole want your upcoming marriage to be as good as it possibly can be. On almost every affirmative decision rendered by the Dallas Tribunal at least one counseling session for the party receiving the declaration of invalidity and her/his future spouse is recommended. Even if you have already been "married" civilly for many years and you now are free to marry in the church, we want your marriage to be the best it can be. The purpose of the interview with the counselor is to help you and your future spouse address any issues that might be a stumbling block in your relationship. The Marriage Readiness Assessor will utilize information, with a release from you, from the decision in your matrimonial case, especially to raise any issues that might need to be addressed. He/she also will want to be sure that if there are any minor children from the previous union, they are being provided for financially and morally. The marriage readiness assessment is not intended to be punitive but helpful. Q. I inherited a house and some other assets from my dear grandmother. My soon-to-be husband and I will live in my house. My parents are very concerned that my inheritance remains mine. I love my fiancé, but he is not a wealthy man. My parents want a prenuptial agreement. Now, in talking with my priest, I am beginning to realize that the Catholic Church will not allow me to get married if I sign a prenuptial agreement and my non-Catholic parents (I am a convert) refuse to have anything to do with the wedding itself if I do not abide by their wishes. Please help me. I am in a terrible dilemma. A. First, the Catholic Church’s concern regarding a prenuptial agreement relates to the possibility that it may indicate that the person entering the marriage intends to enter a dissoluble union. As you know, the church teaches that marriage is indissoluble. Yet the very reason for the prenuptial agreement may be to protect assets should a divorce occur. Obviously a prenuptial agreement to protect assets should the death of one of the parties occur is a different matter. It is important that you enter the union committed to its indissolubility. It is natural that your parents and legal advisors want to protect you. I would advise you, along with your Catholic fiancé, to discuss with the priest preparing you for marriage and with your attorney your concerns about preserving the separate character of property brought into the marriage. Perhaps something can be done to satisfy the concerns of your parents while conforming to the teachings of the Catholic Church. Ultimately the priest will present a draft of the prenuptial agreement to the Tribunal for review and possible approval.               Proper terminology aids process   Q. My ex-wife is trying to get our marriage annulled. I got a letter from the Tribunal which talks about grounds. Some of the words are even in Latin! What does contra bonum prolis mean and what does lack of discretionary judgment mean? And why can’t the Tribunal use everyday language and not so much legalese? A. I am glad you are asking questions. Contra bonum prolis has to do with the withholding of the right to acts suitable for the begetting and upbringing of children. Lack of discretionary judgment has to do with something very seriously interfering with a party’s understanding of the essential obligations and rights of Christian marriage. These are grounds which relate to what was going on at the time the man and woman exchanged consent, since consent is what brings the marriage into existence. It is important that you understand the grounds as well as all other aspects of the process. We often use terminology from the Code of Canon Law in an effort to be as clear, canonically, as possible. If you are not in agreement with the proposed grounds or do not understand something we are doing, please contact your Procurator-Advocate or the Tribunal. For a complete listing of grounds, consult the diocesan website at www.cathdal.org, or call me to have a copy mailed to you. Q. I have fallen in love with a man who has been married before. He has two children by his first marriage. They are 6 and 8 years old. He has gotten an annulment but now we are being held up in getting married because he owes back child support. Why is everybody making it so hard for me to marry in the Catholic Church? A. I am glad you contacted me. We are not trying to make it difficult for you to marry in the Catholic Church. However, the church is concerned about any civil and moral obligations to a previous spouse or offspring. It is very important to assure that any children will be provided for before the father or mother enters another marriage. The law of the church as well as society in general expects such. A person who is paying or receiving child support can obtain a current record from the attorney general’s office to confirm that these obligations are being met; and the priest, deacon, or lay minister preparing a parent of minor children will request that such confirmation be provided before setting a wedding date in the church. Q. My ex-husband has introduced a marriage case in another Tribunal. I live in the Diocese of Dallas. The Dicocese of Dallas has sent me a letter asking for my comments about the case being heard in another diocese. I do not want it to be heard there. A. Because you live in this diocese, you have been contacted so that you can express your concerns before our Judicial Vicar makes a decision to give or deny consent to the other diocese to process the case. We will do everything we can to help you in the Diocese of Dallas so that your rights are protected. We particularly will be diligent in assisting you to obtain a Procurator-Advocate here in Dallas to represent you, at least locally. All Tribunals operate under the same Code of Canon Law and attempt to render decisions in a just and timely manner. Although it is not likely we will deny consent, there are certain circumstances when we have found it appropriate to do so. Please call me so we can talk further. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org. Must receive marriage prep within parish boundaries

Q. I want to get married in the Catholic Church, but it is becoming very difficult to do so. I moved to Dallas six months ago after graduating from college. I admit that I have not been very faithful in Mass attendance and I am not registered or active in a parish. However, when I went to the Catholic Church two blocks from my house, I was told they would not even make an appointment for me to see the priest for marriage until I have registered and have been active in the parish for six months. Please help me; I think I’ll just go to a little church (non-Catholic) down the street. A. I hope you will be patient with us. First let me assure you that it is the responsibility of the pastor of the parish in which you are physically domiciled to see to your marriage preparation. This responsibility begins as soon as you have been physically domiciled within his parish boundaries for at least one month; thus, parish registration and participation, although desirable, are not a requirement for marriage in the church. Obviously the parish wants you to be active but in no way should require that you, after having registered, wait six months to see the priest. Please call me so we can discuss this matter further. Q. My fiancé was baptized in an obscure village in Bolivia 30 years ago. Now that we want to marry he is being asked to furnish a current baptismal certificate with sacramental notations and we cannot get this. What are we going to do? A. There are no simple answers to this; however, we can try to think of some solutions. First, is there anyone left in the small town in which he was baptized, someone who can go to the parish church? If not, is there anyone who can testify that he was baptized Catholic and never has been married in the church? Third, where did he receive his First Communion? Fourth, where was he Confirmed?   Answers to these questions may give us a lead. We also can write to the Apostolic Nuncio to see whether his office can obtain a certificate from the diocese in which your fiancé was baptized. Also the diocese itself may have centralized records or be able to confirm the certificate cannot be obtained under any circumstances. Obtaining a certificate sometimes can be quite difficult but the person preparing you for marriage as well as the Tribunal will try to do everything possible to obtain the certificate and to establish your fiancé’s freedom to marry.   This is a complex issue but not an insoluble one. Each circumstance is somewhat unique and considered on its own merits. Please call me so we can discuss this matter further. The previous examples are general answers to general questions. Each case differs because of the specific issues involved. For more information or to seek guidance on how to handle a particular case, please contact Margaret Gillett, Assessor for the Tribunal of the Diocese of Dallas at 214-379-2840 or mgillett@cathdal.org.

Non-baptized may not receive ‘Sacrament of Matrimony’